Introduction

What you will read in this blog is a true story. All of it is true. Every word.

Sobriety can make you feel good. So much so, I have to battle my addiction to it. Knowing how tough a battle this is for me, I am often asked how I manage to combat this terrible addiction. So I tell them the truth; one day at a time. You just gotta take each day as it comes. Sometimes I don’t make it and I relapse back into sobriety, because I just can’t help myself. For example, I have been sober for the last week. That smug sense of well being has just overpowered me and prevented any form of intoxicant to pass my lips. I was doing so well before hand, having blitzed a 48 hour bender through all the town’s latest hotspots in the company of a TV, a gay, a woman of professional sexual means (prostitute) and some of my other best friends. I really thought for a moment that I had conquered my addiction once and for all.

But no. It always grabs me in the end. Here I am, at home, alone. Refusing to pick up the phone, or answer the door. My bank balance is healthier when I’m off the sobriety wagon, but I cant see any other advantages. Instead of being social I stay at home and watch television. This is no way to live I tell myself. But facing the world sober is just too tempting. It’s a real struggle to stay intoxicated. A lot of hard work. There are no easy options when you are on that particular merry go round.

And of course, I am taking a risk here by admitting to you what I know about myself and the truth about my sobriety. What if the authorities were to find out? I’ve seen it with my own eyes as they drag people out of Public Houses for even daring to order a soft drink or coffee. I even hear they force feed alcohol to the chronic soberists. Mainlined in some cases. And that is just the start. Forget the cops, but can you imagine the pressure there is in society to avoid sobriety? It’s almost as if there is some kind of social engineering thing going on. The disappointment my parents would feel if I were to tell them the truth. The ‘friends’ that would disown me if I was to come out the closet, so to speak. And just at the moment I would need their support the most.

So I hide it. I don’t tell anyone. If only it wasn’t illegal I might look for some help. Then again, I might tell you to stuff it and live my life the way I want to. But it is too easy to buy booze, sip a little and deliberately spill it to avoid taking too much in. Thankfully the government haven’t got round to chemically analysing the drains of suspected soberists. Though I hear they are thinking about it. They wouldn’t find a lot of alcohol content in mine.

But I know a guy. He makes me alcohol-free hooch; its full of all sorts of chemicals, being illegal and all, but I am willing to take the risk to keep that feeling of sobriety that I crave so much. Maybe he knows a guy that can do something about those drains, just in case somebody from the Sobriety Czar’s office comes sniffing around. It’s sure to cost, but hey, it will sure be worth it. Anything is, to stay sober.

Sobriety is just too damn easy. Except that isn’t my story, it’s all a fiction. It’s all so damn complicated.